I knew full well that I would go into labour on 11th April. I’d been out for lunch they day before and all I said to myself was that I just wanted to get through lunch, then I was ready….

I woke up on Monday 11th feeling a bit groggy as I hadn’t slept very well through the night at all, tossing and turning and just generally feeling like a beetle on its back struggling to turn over!

I noticed that I had mild cramping feelings similar to period pains but didn’t really warrant a second thought as for the last week I’d felt a shift in my body and had also noticed other odd feelings, pimples and generally a little different.

I was due to meet my Mother in Soho for lunch so was dashing around to get ready. I went to the bathroom and noticed a little coloured discharge, having a slight panic moment I thought “is this what I think it is?!” As I continued to get ready I noticed the cramping feeling getting a little more obvious. Still nothing to concern me but the thought was registering in the back of my mind.

I made my way to Soho to meet Mother, and pre-warned her not to worry but I think something might have started this morning, with the response, “what the hell are you doing here then, you should be at home!” What was I to do?! Go home and twiddle my fingers just on the off chance I went into labour (knowing full well that it could even be days before anything further happened).

After a nice lunch but a difficult walk around town, I decided to head home and thought about doing some chores…just in case. Within about 30 minutes of being home, my waters started to break in small amounts. I messaged Phil who was at work letting him know that he might want to start making his way home!

Once he arrived home, we both started setting up the bassinette, getting some clothes ready, blew up the birth pool and had all of our goodies and snacks in the lounge ready for the home birth I desperately wanted and had planned for.

Phil cooked dinner although I had no appetite, so we both decided to get an early night, not knowing when the next time would be that we would get some sleep! I struggled to settle, although I wasn’t in any pain or discomfort, just annoyed and fidgety!

At around 12.30/1am I woke with the most agonising pain that took my breath away. I wasn’t sure what to make of it so lay there trying to wake up and compose myself, when a few minutes later I had another shooting pain in my back. We called the maternity unit only to be told there were no homebirth midwifes on shift that night – again I had a feeling this would be the case! So I knew I had a couple of options, stick it out at home until the midwives came on shift at 8am which seemed like way too long to wait. Or transfer in to the Birth Centre. Neither of which felt like an option that I had wanted so I thought I’d see how I got on at home as planned.

I got in the shower knowing this would “help”, on all fours with Phil dousing me in water, at this point, contractions were averaging about 1 every 3-4 minutes and were rapid and intense and lasting nearly a minute. Oddly though, the pain was only in my lower back. I thought nothing of it and carried on, begging for Phil to call our Doula.

Sarah arrived about an hour later rushing to my aid with a TENS machine and rubbing my lower back trying to feed me Haribo! I started getting some sensations to push and I was just thinking to myself I am going to end up free birthing my baby! Sarah however mentioned that the urge to push along with lower back contractions could indicated that the baby was back to front and my body was trying to turn him.

Continuing to push and work through the contractions, she suggested Phil fill up the birth pool, although I told him not to because deep down I knew that sitting in a pool of warm water just wasn’t going to cut the pain. Afterall I had gone from absolutely nothing to established labour in a matter of hours. At this point I said I needed some stronger pain relief, and suggested we pack a bag (which we hadn’t done to avoid the temptation of going to hospital) and make our way in.

We arrived at hospital at around 5am where I agreed to be examined as I was convinced I was giving birth immediately, only to find I was 4cm dilated. I was slightly disappointed I wasn’t further along, however was informed this was great progress meaning I was dilating at 1cm an hour instead of 1cm every 2hours – The thought of the possibility of another 6 hours of labour made me feel sick and I continued to demand an epidural.

After doing a covid test mid contraction and being bothered in triage we were transferred to the labour ward which was so far from my birth plan but I knew it was the only way to get some relief.

We had a dedicated midwife for the whole of labour who was really lovely, enthusiastic, passionate and supportive. It took a further 4 hours for the anaesthetists to arrive to administer the epidural, when I was repeatedly asked “are you sure this is what you want” as in my birth plan I had refused any interventions but they kept asking me if I was sure I wanted to change my mind. I found it impossible to sit still as I was having back to back contractions, everyone had said they’d never seen anyone have so many contractions whilst trying to give an epidural!

Around 9.30am it started to kick in and at this point I was 6cm , we all sat in our private room having a laugh and talking loads and snacking – unintentionally keep oxytocin levels high.

I was on the epidural for about 4 hours when I consented to another examination informing me I was fully dilated. At this point I wasn’t quite ready to meet our baby as I had to hype myself back up again. We decided to stay as we were for another couple of hours, hoping that baby would wriggle his way down a little further to make the pushing stage somewhat easier.

When we decided we were ready to meet our baby, I was overcome with emotion and felt very overwhelmed that it was imminent, that we were going to be parents and we would get to hold the baby I had spent 9 months growing. I started coached pushing which was against my birth plan wishes but at this point, I knew with the effects of the epidural there was no way he was coming out easy!

I had been pushing (fantastically well apparently!) for about 30mins when a few doctors came in unannounced informing me baby’s heart had risen to 200 (bmp?!) and immediate action needed to be taken. Doctors had informed me they wanted me to deliver baby as naturally as possible based on my birth preferences, however forceps had to be used to aid a quick delivery with an epiosotomy for ease. I asked for time to think about it and discuss my options but it seemed there wasn’t any which I knew so agreed to the inevitable as I knew the other option was likely to be emergency caesarean.

After having a textbook pregnancy and a fast and smooth labour, this last hurdle was a hard pill to swallow. I felt so overwhelmed and gave into my instincts knowing that I had no juice left inside me to push him out safely and at this point I just wanted him out of me and safe and for it to be over.

The doctors that carried out the procedure were exceptionally professional and took my birth wishes into consideration at every point and gave me options along the way.

What amazed me more than anything it that it seemed that everyone in the room during my labour had read in detail and respected my birth plan. This became apparent by the questions I was being asked. When crowning I was asked if I wanted to touch the baby as in my plan I had made it very clear that I wanted to be the first person to do so. Doctors also wanted to give me the chance to deliver my placenta naturally as well, although it wouldn’t come away naturally and intervention had to be used, at least I was given a chance. They put baby on my quicker than I could open my eyes and kept the cord attached whilst they were trying to deliver the placenta manually, I was informed that the cord had gone white when they had released the placenta – another point made clear in my birth plan. It took a while to stitch me up as I had lost nearly a litre of blood but they were so thorough in making sure a proper job was done and clearly cared for my welfare.

Deven was born at 4.09pm on 12th April healthy and well.

Despite the last hurdle, I had the most positive experience and was confident in my choices and stuck with my intuition, something I had learnt through hypnobirthing.

My birthplan was bulletproof and despite having an argument with a senior midwife about my preferences a few days prior, I felt that I was allowed to see through my plan as best as possible, given options at every stage of the process and fully respected the whole way through. I cannot thank the team at Whittington enough and of course Anna for setting us up so well on her course!