We were told at 32 weeks that my placenta was low-lying and there was little chance of it moving, so a belly birth (c-section) was the safest option for us. Up until that point, I had pictured a vaginal water birth using only gas and air if possible. I was told that if I continued with that plan there was a chance of a dangerous bleed and my doctor strongly advised against it. Changing my mindset to a belly birth was therefore a big mental readjustment for me. I decided to give myself one day to be upset about it. I cried and mourned the natural birth I would not experience, then I pulled myself together and started reframing my expectations.

We did Anna’s hypnobirthing for belly births course, which was super informative, supportive, and offered lots of helpful, practical tips (such as putting a pillow between your scar and the seat belt in the way home from hospital which was a life saver). We also went through how to look after yourself in the postnatal period. My partner found the course very helpful as there were specific sections on how to offer support to the birthing person. We got access to an online hub with specific belly birth information and resources. My favourite thing was the belly birth relaxation MP3 visualisations. Although the class was online, I have stayed in contact with the other mothers on the course which has been a great support. 

On the day of the birth we were both very giddy, nervous, and so excited. We were told the birth would be at 6:45pm so we had a lot of time to kill before going to hospital. I was told I could have breakfast on the day, so we made the last pregnant meal special and went to a nice restaurant, before heading into hospital in the afternoon.

After we were admitted, a few of the staff came to the room and introduced themselves and then the midwife took us down to the operating theatre. For me, walking into the operating theatre felt quite overwhelming. It was a busy room with lots of medical staff. I had been nervous about the spinal block injection, but the anaesthetist gave me a local anaesthetic first, and I did not feel any pain. I could feel a weird sensation spreading down my legs as it took effect. Then they put the curtain up and as the birth began, the room got a much calmer. Most of the staff were behind the curtain so it still felt like it was just me and my husband in the room.

My sister had made us a playlist that we played in theatre which helped me feel relaxed. We chose to have the curtain lowered at the point of birth, but I don’t remember seeing the birth as I was lying flat. I felt no pain during the birth, but I could feel sensation, as they lifted my baby up, I looked at my husband and said, ‘I think we have a baby now’. It only took about 10 minutes from we had started. The doctor lifted the baby up and showed her to us, first her face and then did a gender reveal as we had kept it a secret. She was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my entire life. They immediately gave her to me and the first words out of my mouth was ‘I love you so much’, but it sounded utterly inadequate for what I felt for her. I have loved many people and things in my life, but this was something else entirely, she had come from my body, I had already felt her grow, and move and here she was in my arms completely perfect. In that moment, all my priorities shifted, and she became my world.

The midwife had to take her under a heated lamp as she was quite blue, and they said she was cold. My husband later told me this lasted for about three minutes, but I could swear it felt like 20. I kept asking for her back, they gave her to me, and we had skin-to-skin. After that, I didn’t let go for a long time. The rest is a bit of a blur. I know I had asked for a gentle birth and delayed cord clamping. I am pretty sure these things happened, but in the moment, I was too preoccupied to pay attention.

Sewing me back up took about 30 minutes, after that I was wheeled into a recovery room where I breastfed immediately. I had heard different things about recovering from a belly birth, some people told me I should stay in bed for a week, others that I should try and walk the same day. I did a few steps 7 hours after the birth and tried to move around as much as possible as I felt I wanted to, but I think this is very different for everybody. I gave birth on a Tuesday evening, and we decided we wanted to leave the hospital on the Thursday afternoon.  

Now over a month has passed since the birth. I feel physically almost back to normal and have started gently exercising again. Although my body has changed and I have had to accept that it looks slightly different, I am actually very proud of my scar.

My top tips for belly births

·      If this was not your first choice, give yourself time to be upset about it

Although I think it is very helpful to end up on a positive attitude towards a belly birth, don’t minimise your feeling of disappointment. Feel them, then try to readjust your expectations.

·      Find someone who has had a belly birth to ask questions

My midwives and doctors were great resources, but I found other mothers who have had a belly birth to be very generous with sharing their experiences, offer advice, and answering questions. 

·      Take control of the things you can, and accept the things you can’t

I found researching different preferences and options for belly births quite empowering when I realised that there were still things I could control. Finding the option of a natural belly birth gave me the feeling that my preferences could still be accommodated and gave me a more active role in the birth.

·      You do not have to tell people about the change of plans, or the date you will birth your baby

My husband calls me a pathological sharer, and I often find comfort in talking through difficult situations with my friends. But this felt different, and we opted to only share the change of plans with immediate family, this also saved us an influx of messages on the day. Of course, what and with whom you chose to share your news is personal, but I would suggest taking some time to think about it.  

·      Write positive birth affirmations specific to belly births and any worries you may have

Anna suggested making positive birth affirmations about the things you might be nervous about. For example, I found it difficult to let someone else take control of the birth, so I had a note on my mirror that read ‘I trust my medical team to safely deliver my baby’ and ‘I am grateful that a belly birth is available to me’.

·      Talk to your birth partner about your feelings and preferences

Go through how you would like the day and birth to be and how you are feeling about it. Having a belly birth often bring up difficult feelings for the birth partner. I was surprised to learn that my husband was very afraid of something happening to me or that he would faint in the room. So talk through your fears, worries, and preferences for the birth.

Positives of having a belly birth

Although I would have preferred to give birth vaginally, as I readjusted my expectations, I found that there were many positives of having a belly birth.

·      You will know the date that you get to meet your baby, this makes the countdown very exciting

·      No need to worry about tearing

·      If it is a planned belly birth, you will probably have a painless birth

·      The birth will be short

·      No need to worry about timing the contractions and when to go to hospital