On the Monday I woke up to mild period cramp pains, feeling slightly giddy with excitement, I told my partner Joe that today could “be the day”. The weather was perfect, endless blue skies, so we decided to get outside and enjoy it. Picnic in hand and an enthusiastic toddler in tow we set off to the park. As the day was progressing, so was the intensity of my cramps but all very manageable and we savoured our day in the sunshine, thinking this could be the last day as a family of three. Walking back from the park I had to stop and lean on the buggy a few times, calling on my trusty Hypnobirthing breathing techniques.
Joe gave the Homebirth team a call when we got home and we spoke to the wonderful Francine who told us she was on shift and to stay in touch. We had dinner together as a family and I put myself to bed early, hoping I’d be able to bag a few hours of sleep for the night ahead. Our toddler was tucked up in bed and the birthing pool was ready to be filled in the living room…everything felt wonderfully calm and prepared.
I managed to go in and out of sleep for a few hours and around 1am I suddenly woke up. Strangely the surges that had been building seemed to have completely stopped, all of my Hypnobirthing serenity seemed to desert me and I woke up Joe in a panic. I jumped to the conclusion that it was a false start and felt immense disappointment I had read my body so incorrectly, however my fears were unfounded and over the next hour the surges came back with fervour! Joe gave Francine from the Homerton homebirth team a call and she told us to keep going and to call her back when the surges were more frequent.
I visualised the surges as waves, that I knew I would come down from once I had reached the peak, this visualisation, coupled with the breathing techniques, provided a much needed anchor to manage the pain. Our bedroom felt like a safe cocoon and I found solace in the idea that we weren’t planning on leaving any time soon and giving birth at home was the plan. For my first birth I’m sure the hospital environment stalled my “progress” and I remember longing to be back in the comfort and safety of my own home. As night became morning I was gradually increasing the intensity of the Tens machine and asking Joe when the midwives were going to come over, things were heating up…
Our toddler Lana woke up around 6am and poked her head around our bedroom door. As I was sat on the birth ball she came over and gave me the best hug, it felt like it was just what I needed at that moment and gave me an extra boost of strength. Amazingly at that point when I saw my daughter, the surges briefly paused, it was like I came out of the moment for a second, to be present with her. Joe’s parents came soon after to collect her for the day, she was very excited to see her grandparents so early in the morning and delighted in the fact she didn’t have to take off her pyjamas as she strutted out of the front door.
Francine and Abby (the other wonderful midwife on duty) arrived around 7am and offered me gas and air, which I definitely felt ready for at that point. During my pregnancy I had analysed my first birth and came to the conclusion that I would refuse all vaginal examinations, based on my memories of them being utter agony, unhelpful and made to feel compulsory. Of course what’s the first thing I beg Francine to do on arrival… ”Please can you examine me?!” At that point I remember being desperate to hear that was 9cm and ready to pop, but of course she tells me I’m 4cm and that I shouldn’t get fixated on that as I was doing so well. As the surges increase me and Joe stayed in our bedroom, while the midwives give us space and filled the birth pool downstairs, checking in every so often.
A few hours passed and there was a slight concern I’d stopped being able to have a wee. Francine decides it’s a good idea to use a catheter to see that will help things. As soon as the catheter was inserted my waters broke and the pain levels cranked up to a whole new level. At this point I knew that the baby was coming…imminently! I instinctively started making my way towards the stairs and tell everyone with no hesitation “I’m getting in the pool…now!”.
Being in the water felt like the most natural place for me and as soon as I was in I began to push! Francine worked some midwife magic and unhooked the umbilical cord, which had caught around the baby’s neck and then I suddenly felt the most incredible and intense sensation of the head crowning. At 10.58am the baby shoots out at speed and Francine scoops them up and places them on my chest…a beautiful, screaming baby girl with a big mop of black hair!
I was guided to our sofa and used gas and air to help birth the placenta…focusing all my attention on the tiny, perfect baby on my chest.
Our home birth was such a positive experience and I felt such a sense of empowerment having the birth at home…in the way that we wanted!