For most 2020 was a horrendous year due to Covid & being in and out of lockdown but in all honestly for Benji & I it was one of the best years of our lives. Buying our first house, finding out we were expecting our first baby & using the time at home to focus on a positive pregnancy and preparing for our birth. 

I stumbled across Anna at Hackney Hypnobirthing via Instagram and started to do a little research into hypnobirthing as my presumption was it was for hippies & probably wouldn’t benefit me at all. I looked into Anna, her business, what she stood for and some of her clients reviews and birth stories and was amazed at what I was reading so I signed up for her free taster session. (I thought it seemed a bit too good to be true in all honesty).

Benj and I have always been positive people and believe in the laws of attraction and that you get back what you put out so as soon as I got a taste of what the course and hypnobirthing in general involved I knew it was something we should invest in! I also instantly fell in love with Anna & I think having a really good connection with your ‘teacher’ is important so we joined up & I can honestly say it’s the best investment we have ever made. 

During my pregnancy I developed gestational diabetes which instantly put me into the ‘high risk’ category so I started my research and made sure that I managed my blood sugars throughout to not affect the baby. Anna also shared a lot of materials with me on the topic. 

Due to having the gestational diabetes I was told it’s advisable to be induced at 40 weeks by the doctor as the ‘risks’ for stillborn are increased and you could end up having a ‘big’ baby. My growth scans had been measuring ‘average’ throughout my pregnancy & I had managed my blood sugars well so having done my research and having gained the confidence and knowledge doing Anna’s course I was able to confidently decline the induction and explain my reasoning. I trusted my body and knew that my body wasn’t ready to birth my baby at this stage.

I also joined a positive induction forum as I didn’t want to rule out induction incase this became a reality. So I filled my mind with positive induction stories as all you seem to read are negative ones and continued reading my positive affirmations, listening to our recordings, practicing my breathing techniques and I did everything in my favour (including all the tips and tricks to try to bring on labour.)

By 41 weeks I still had not gone into labour so I decided to opt for the induction. I was a little disheartened I hadn’t been able to start my labour naturally at home with Benji but I didn’t focus on this, I focused on the fact that very soon my baby girl would be in the world. 

I went in to hospital on Thursday 21st January and I had my own room on the induction ward. I was examined and my cervix was still very high and they were not able to break my waters so I had the 24hr pessary inserted. After 24hrs I still had not made enough progress for my waters to be broken so I had a further 2 doses of the 6hr dissolvable tablet to try to ripen my cervix and bring it lower/forward.

On Friday 22nd quite late in the evening I was examined by a doctor who said at this stage they still wouldn’t be able to break my waters so they suggested I had a rest day and then see where I was up to. I remember feeling quite disheartened & sad at the prospect of maybe the induction wasn’t going to be successful and this was the stage when my mind took over. I cried and had a relaxing bath and spoke to family as at this point I was missing my loved ones and felt quite lonely but I decided to focus on trusting my body and using the rest day to fill myself with oxytocin, keeping moving and remembering all that we had gone through with Anna.

I woke up on the rest day positive that I was going to be meeting my baby very soon, filled myself with lovely food/drink, spent the day walking and bouncing on the birthing ball and talking to my baby. I listened to positive induction recordings and some other ones Anna had shared with me to keep me calm and focused. I wanted to keep the oxytocin high so listened to my favourite music, spoke to my family, watched some “Only fools and horses” to laugh out loud and just kept looking at photographs of my family & the positive affirmations that me and Benj had written whilst I was pregnant.

The following evening around 11pm I was examined by a wonderful midwife and my waters were ready to be broken I couldn’t believe it the progress I had made but the joy I felt was immense and I knew it was all down to my mindset. So it was just a waiting game for a spot on the labour ward, come 6am I was off to labour ward & my waters were broken at 7am.  Benji was able to come to the hospital from this point which was wonderful as I has missed him so much and seeing him just made me feel really excited and ready to bring our baby into the world.

Our midwife was a younger lady she was fantastic, she read my birth plan and the three of us had a conversation about our wishes such as calling the contractions surges, delaying cutting the cord and keeping the room relaxed. She told us she would accommodate whatever we wanted. We set the room up with dimmed lighting, electric candles and wrapped fairy lights to the long light above the bed. We also brought our Bose speaker and I had prepared a playlist with all songs that had memories attached to them throughout our life so this was playing in the background the whole time.  The atmosphere we created was wonderful and even the midwife commented on how lovely it was. 

I went on the syntocinon drip to kick start my contractions around 8am and within the hour the surges started coming through quite strong and the midwife gradually increased the dosage throughout the labour until I was ready to push. I had to be monitored throughout so asked if there was an alternate to the straps on my tummy as this restricted me from moving and I didn’t want to be still on the bed, it didn’t feel right. The mobile machine wasn’t available but the midwife said she was able to attach a small clip to the babies head so that I could be mobile.

I started labouring on the birthing ball and Benji applied pressure to my lower back throughout which was amazing, the conversation was limited in the room as we wanted which was amazing because it enabled me to focus on my breathing and listening to the music. The midwife also sat back and let us labour together not interfering at all. I had gas and air once the surges got strong and this combined with the music and the breathing techniques took me to another dimension. I remember visualising blowing up a balloon every time I got a surge along with keeping in the forefront of my mind I am getting one step closer to meeting my baby and this was so strong, Benji and I actually kept crying at points with the love we felt for one another being so strong and the reality of what we were doing (as cheesy as that sounds).

I wouldn’t say it took the ‘pain’ away but focusing my energy else where was so incredibly powerful and it made the labour actually enjoyable as every track in the background had a memory attached to it and the visualisations got me through. As the surges got very strong and closer together I got on my knees leaning on the back of the bed and suddenly felt the urge to push, to me it felt like I had been in labour about an hour so it didn’t feel real that I was so close but I knew I needed to push.

The midwife just said to me do what your body is telling you. I started pushing and at this point visualised the baby coming down and out steady and calm. Tearing or getting stuck was not an option to me and I kept this in the forefront of my mind. I squeezed Benji’s hand and focused on pushing with every surge, the midwife guided me through the pushes big and small so that I didn’t tear and I can honestly say due to the gas and air I was in a really focused head space.

Both Benj and the midwife encouraged me through the pushing telling me how amazing I was and that I was doing it, telling me when they could see her head and I even felt her. Within 20 minutes of pushing she was in my arms skin on skin. She didn’t really cry when born and was very content and calm straight away and I am convinced this is down to the labour. 

The whole experience was mind blowing, it was the most empowering experience and as odd as this may sound both Benji and I genuinely enjoyed every second of birthing our baby. He said to me that the focus I had when breathing through the surges was another level I apparently looked like I was in another world and I remember feeling that. I felt as if I was in a happy place just me and my baby.

I managed the ‘pain’ by focusing on breathing and bringing our daughter one step closer to our arms, I trusted my body & wanted to enjoy the labour and that is what I achieved. I feel immensely proud that we were able to have such a positive birth and especially after being induced it could have been a very negative experience. 

I know for a fact if we hadn’t have spent the time and energy investing in hypnobirthing we would have had a very different experience and for this I will forever be grateful for Anna and Hackney Hypnobirthing. Even now Evelyn is such a calm/content baby, don’t get me wrong she has her moments but her temperament is wonderful and I will forever know her as my hypnobirthing baby.