On Sunday 18th of April I had set an alarm to make sure Ryan took me to the car boot super early to make sure I got all the bargains, but life had other plans. I started feeling surges about 6/7 am, I felt them come on thick and fast, there was no mistaking that birth was happening. Ryan didn’t quite believe me for some time, haha googling braxton hicks. We started to log the surges from about 8am they were steadily 7mins apart lasting 2 mins each. We continued about our morning as best we could, Ryan suddenly feeling the urge to clean, me trying to sleep as much as possible between surges, and mum racing down the motorway to get to us. We rang the Homerton who told us Francine was on shift! This was a great relief! 

to me the day is a blur, It was the quickest day of my life, mum and Ryan say it was the longest day of theirs, haha. A day filled with anxiety and pain but also excitement, joy and laughter. 

I had taken part in a course with Anna, she taught me what was going to happen so I didn’t feel worried, I felt excited and supported. I even messaged her a few times throughout the day “could this be happening? Is it braxton hicks?” Something along those lines. 

Next thing I can remember is requesting some paracetamol about 6pm, I was mostly using the Freya app, we used it religiously with every surge. We all found it helped us get through. We would count along with the app, almost chanting the numbers which was meditative, monotonous calming, or breathing with the counts. I was taught that each surge brought be closer to my baby and that was at the front of my mind each time. 

By 8pm the intensity of each surge had grown considerably, I moved myself into my bath, alone in my tiny dark bathroom. This was one of the most enjoyable parts of my birth. I breathed through the surges listening to Anna’s affirmations and Mood videos. 

By 10pm Francine had decided it was time to come, I was in the most agony and felt like I couldn’t continue……

By 10pm Francine had decided it was time to come, I was in the most agony and felt like I couldn’t continue, she pointed out that this was because I was on my back, I pushed through the fact that I felt I would never be able to move and got myself over my birth ball, this made such a difference. The change in position allowed me to catch my breath, close my eyes and hum between surges which were now 3 in 10 mins.

I requested gas and air at this point, I felt like I couldn’t manage, Francine said I was doing fine now that I was up and over. But that she would go to the hospital and get me gas and air. An hour later Francine came back from the hospital with gas and air and something even better than any pain relief - Rose. 

Francine and Rose had such kindness and confidence that we all felt so safe in their presence. I strongly believe it would have been impossible without them. 

With one squat my waters broke and the pool was finally ready, unfortunately I was in and out because it was a struggle to get babies heartbeat to read. 

Next my body and baby were ready, and to my surprise my body started to push my baby out. I was incredible that my body was doing the involuntary pushing their was nothing I could do about it. I was having three large and powerful pushes during each surge. I have never felt quite like it, it was such a powerful feeling. We carried on like this for quite some time, trying all different positions to get baby out. Francine would make me walk, crawl, squat and stand, I was begging her to let me rest, haha but she knew how to get him moving.

After a long time of everyone shouting “we can see the head, we can see the head” it seemed as though he may never come. Francine and Rose set a time and said if he doesn’t come by that certain time and we are still struggling to get a good heart rate showing on the monitor we may discuss transferring to the hospital. 

The time came and passed and concern for baby was growing throughout the room so we decided to call an ambulance about 5am.

The ambulance came and blue lighted us to Homerton hospital. Ryan had never been in an ambulance before and was very excited to zoom across London in it. Once we got to the hospital we were rushed into our private room full of amazing midwives, then entered Madupe, who carried an air of magic and strength with her. Mum said when she entered the room she took over the situation with such grace and that everyone in that room respected her and that made Mum feel safe.

She soon worked out that baby was back to back, OP meaning that baby was facing the wrong way, also the wrong part of the head was coming out. 

I was told that this kind of birth almost always ends in cesarean but Madupe said “Mumma has done it this far! If she wants to continue” which I did. With the help of an episiotomy, Francine and Rose holding my hand and reaffirming my ability and strength to enter motherhood and Gloria showing me a method of chin to chest and pushhhhhh……. I was able to bring Leni Anthony Stanton into the world at 06:07am 

This was the most incredible, beautiful, life affirming experience there are so many beautiful people mentioned in my story that I would like to thank. I feel like you are all my family now. The best day of my life by far. I experienced a massive shift from woman to mother. I am proud to share my story with you all, which I almost didn’t because of fear surrounding my ability to write/spell. I’m so glad I have done it now, not that I would ever be able to forget, but because even though there was intervention I believe my birth to be a positive and powerful experience worth sharing. X

The biggest thanks goes to my Mum Wendy and Ryan for being the most amazing support, it was the three of us bringing Leni into this world. You are the most amazing family, thank you for being the strength throughout and the light in the dark.